Love Harder

Recently, I've been handed information, which I have no idea what to do with. Information that will change my life, and others around me forever. Nobody's sick, and nobody's in danger...yet, I feel like a bomb went off.

Working with others, and helping them see their situation from a different perspective, I have forced myself to do the same. When I say forced, I mean FORCED! I found myself consumed, obsessed, and down all day thinking...thinking about how I can fix what I was handed. With lots of prayer, as the days passed, I began to see my situation from a new perspective. My days became easier, and with light shoulders and a softer heart, I found myself smiling again.

I came to the awareness that not everything needs fixing. In fact, in this situation, I'M the one who needs fixing. By looking at what I've been handed, in a new perspective, I'm able to see happiness and love from a different angle. I'm able to see how my life is going to change for better...I'm going to come out caring more, sharing more, and laughing more. I'm going to love harder than I have ever loved before. I'm going to see beauty in everything.

My journey is far from over...but at least, now, I can see the light that's going to be guiding me through. 

Gratitude in 2017

As I was searching online for a perfect picture to go with this blog post, this one caught my eye! Not because of Kermit, lol, because I instantly related to what was written beside him.

My trials and tribulations have always brought me closer to the people, and things, that matter most to me. It was through the lowest points in my life, where I became more grateful for all that I have, and used my gratitude to lift me back up.

Think of a moment in your life, when an unpleasant situation created gratitude.



A Life Coach can help.

www.donnaleakeclc.com

Creating Stress Free-ish Experience During the Holidays

When I think of the holidays, I can literally feel my muscles tense up, and my shoulders rise up into my neck. It's not that I don't love spending the holidays with my family or look forward to all the great holiday parties with friends, it's the little annoying things in between that get my neck in a twist!

Here's a list, from Children's Hospital Colorado, I found online that can help us through this holiday season.

How parents can reduce stress this holiday season

Do you have a holiday to-do list eight pages long? One hundred gifts to buy and 12 dozen cookies to bake? If this sounds like you, take heed: Ongoing stress is a major contributing factor to poor health and it makes this time of year much less enjoyable. Check out these tips to keep your blood from boiling and your head from exploding.

1. Don't be afraid to say no. T'is the season of giving to others, but perhaps the best gift you can give is your serenity. If you're stressed from overcommitting, your bad mood could sour someone else's yuletide cheer. If you don't want to go to a party, send a kind thank-you card; if you genuinely want to see someone, make plans for after the holidays. Pare down your to-do list as much as possible. If you must complete a task or errand, find a way to make it enjoyable - have a cookie-baking party or a gift wrapping-palooza.

2. Set limits with troublesome family members. Meet him or her for a set period of time in public, instead of inviting them into your home. Suggest nice hotels or bed and breakfasts if you do not want family staying overnight at your home. Make a personalized tourist book for visitors to keep them busy and out of your hair.

3. You don't have to be perfect. It took a team of professionals to create those beautiful decorations and delectable-looking cookies in that magazine, so be careful not to set that standard for yourself. You will notice more than anyone else if something isn't perfect.

4. Remember why you are doing this. Ask yourself why you celebrate certain holidays. If this task or that errand doesn't contribute something meaningful to your celebration, cross it off your list. Chances are no one will notice it's missing.

5. Make your own traditions. Hold on to the practices from your childhood that you love and get rid of the traditions you don't like. Create new traditions with friends and/or family instead.

6. Accept help. Who said you have to decorate and shop all by yourself? Probably no one, but you took it all on anyway. Bring friends and family into the fold. Teach kids the meaning of gift giving and ask them to help pick out gifts. Teach a significant other how to make your favorite cookies. Turn that holiday dinner you're hosting into a potluck and have everyone bring a special dish from their childhood.

7. Exercise.

8. Eat well. Try to keep stress-inducing foods like sugar, caffeine and alcohol to a minimum.

9. Get enough sleep. Set boundaries. For example, if you start a task at 8 p.m., set an alarm for 9 p.m. Quit the task when the alarm goes off and save the rest until tomorrow. If your task requires a long time commitment, plan ahead and leave that for the weekend.

10. Involve the kids. Involve the kids so they can contribute to the spirit of your celebration. Did you commit to making a meal for the homeless shelter? Teach the kids a simple recipe and have them make the meal, helping them understand the importance of the gesture.

11. Cut the gift list. With consumerism running rampant, with displays and ads targeted to entice, be sure to make a list and set a budget before going shopping. It will be much easier on your willpower. Also ask yourself if you're buying gifts just to buy gifts or if they will make a meaningful impact. If not, consider giving time instead of gifts. For example, offer a free night of babysitting or a homemade meal come January. Chances are, your friends and family will remember these meaningful gestures more than something you picked up at the store at the last minute. Also consider a gift exchange, where everyone draws names and each person buys just one gift. It's easier on your willpower and will avoid the stress of overextending your budget.

12. Unplug. The world will not stop if you turn off your phone or close your laptop on the weekend or at night. Give your loved ones your full attention and indulge in some uninterrupted family time.

13. Create a cozy atmosphere as you complete your to-do list. Turn off the TV and instead light the fireplace while you write cards, play music while you bake or light a cinnamon-scented candle while you gift wrap.

A Life Coach can help.

PhotoTherapy Session: This Tiny House

PhotoTherapy Session:

When we look at a photograph, emotions, thoughts, and creativity stirs inside of us. When I pulled up a photo of a house I lived in for 12 years, immediately I was inspired to write down everything that was coming to me. Below is an example as to how a simple photograph can remind me of all the things I did have, instead of focusing on what I didn't have. 

Here's my PhotoTherapy Session with myself...

Before "tiny houses" were considered cool and interesting to see on t.v., this little one here was once my castle for 12 years. This house played a huge part of who I am today. With blood, sweat, and tears houses are built...well, in my case, with blood, sweat, and tears this house built "me"!!!! In this house I've learned to never give up, to love harder, to fight harder, to value an education, to value a dollar, to appreciate a smile and any small gesture as a gift. This house may look tiny, but inside it supplied an endless amount of stepping stones for me to go through my journey, which lead me to be where I am today. This house is enormous, priceless, and magical. I didn't find this house, it found me. Years have passed, and I've been filling my new home with all the tools and experiences I've learned from this "tiny house". When life gets crazy, I can reach for this photo, and remember what really matters. I may not be living near my "tiny house" any more, but forever it will be in this photograph, my memory, and in my heart. -Donna Leake

Why Hire a Life Coach

          

You're Hiring a Highly Trained/Certified Professional

A Life Coach is a highly trained professional who will be your sounding board, change the way you see your situation by having you change your perspective, ask you powerful questions that will have you digging deep for answers you never thought were there, and create a game plan to take you steps closer to achieving your goal.

Accountability

When we are held accountable for our actions, we are more likely to make the best choices for our health, relationships, and finances. A Life Coach will be your accountable partner, and will check in with you to see if you are staying focused, on track, and moving closer to your goal.

Become Un-Stuck

There's no room for growth when we are stuck in an area in our life. A Life Coach will give you tools and techniques that will break through obstacles that are blocking you from reaching your goal.

Best Version of Yourself

A Life Coach will help you bring out the best version on yourself. You will begin to see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow into the person you want to be, and build confidence and strength throughout the process.




A Life Coach Can Help!

Be Grateful and Journal It!

What are you grateful for? 

A while ago, I've started a grateful journal. I wanted this journal to be different than the others I write in. I wanted this journal to be a place for me to jot down everything I was grateful for, and in as much detail as I can.  I want to be able to look back and remember who, what, when, where, and why I was grateful. 

Journaling has always been a huge part of my life, but there is something very different with this gratitude journal. I can literally feel a jolt of happiness as I journal, and the more I journal, the more things I am finding myself being grateful for. Big or small, doesn't matter. 

I set a goal to journal 5-7 days per week...and sometimes adding photos, cut outs from magazines, coloring or drawing around my words, adding stickers or anything I will want to keep in-between the pages to give a "physical/visual" representation of what that gratitude meant for me on that day. 

Here are just some random questions you can ask yourself, as you begin your own Grateful Journal. 

What happened today, or this week, that has made me grateful?

What have I been ignoring, and will choose to be grateful for it today? Why?

What one thing during my commute to ______ am I grateful for?

How am I fortunate, and why am I grateful for it?

Who was I volnerable with today, and why am I grateful for it?

What sights/sounds am I grateful for?

What abilities do I have that I am grateful for?

What have others done that have made me grateful?

What relationships am I grateful for?

Who inspired me, and how has it made me extremely grateful?

What kindness did I experience, and how has it made me grateful?

 A Life Coach can help.

Your Authentic Self Looks Good On You

If you're seeing a Life Coach, you most definitely have been asked this question...Are you living authentically? 

What does it mean to be authentic? How will I know if, or when, I'm being my authentic self? 

To be our true authentic self means to live truly as who we are. That means to know who we are, what we want, to fully trust ourselves, to speak with our hearts and minds, to surround ourselves with others who add value to who we are, to choose a career that resonates with our passion, to reach our goals, and to create a life we want and are proud of.

People who live authentically will shine from the inside out. They realize their worth and are proud to show it.

A Life Coach can help.

Plan Your Legacy

I have a choice as to how I want to live my life... and how I live my life is exactly what others are going to remember me by.

What legacy do you want to leave behind? 

Answer the questions below. Perhaps there are some changes you may want to make in your life moving forward. If so, write them down and begin creating the change that will leave you with a legacy you're proud of.


1) What were my major accomplishments?

2) How did I react to my success? How did I react to the success of others?

3) Was I always willing to learn new things and better myself?

4) How have I inspired others?

5) In what ways have I shown up in my life, and for others?

6) When did I make a difference in the world?

7) Did I volunteer my time? When? Where? Why?

8) Was I humble?

9) Did I love from my heart?

10) Was I truly thankful?

A Life Coach can help. 

 

The Perfect Valentine's Day Looks Like...?

What does the perfect Valentine's Day look like to you?  I bet we all have similar pictures in our minds as to what we envision the perfect Valentine's Day to look like....lots of flowers, delicious expensive chocolates, being showered with gifts, sipping bubbling champagne, enjoying fun cocktails, and an unforgettable romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant. 

When we have detailed expectations as to how we want Valentine's Day to look like, we may be setting ourselves up for disappointment. What if the flowers he bought you, this year, were not your favorite flower, the chocolates were bought at a local convenient store, he couldn't book the restaurant you wanted, and throughout your whole evening there wasn't a bottle of bubbling champagne waiting for you? What would that Valentine's Day look like to you? Does it look like a disaster or a welcoming change from the usual Valentine's Days you plan every year? 

Each year, for different reasons, there are so many women who are disappointed after Valentine's Day. Here's the thing, we may not have control over everything we've envisioned our Valentine's Day to look like, but what we do have control over is how we can welcome and enjoy the unexpected. 

QUICK TIPS TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT ON VALENTINE'S DAY

Choose to have fun no matter what. 

Accept any gift as a form of love.

Show appreciation.

Enjoy and be in the moment.

A Life Coach can help.

Decluttering Negative Thoughts and Emotions

Once a year, I declutter my closets and drawers. I go through all the clothing, either I haven't worn or have no plans to wear in the future, and put it in a box to donate. Words cannot express the feeling, as I look at all the space I now have. Just by removing all the clutter that's been crowding up my closets and draws, I can feel as if a weight has been lifted off of me. I now have room for my other clothes to breath and move around.

Just as we clean out the clutter in our closets and drawers, it's extremely important for us to clean out the clutter in our minds. What does that mean? Releasing any negative energy or thoughts we've been carrying around with us that are not longer serving us purpose. How can we release what we don't, mentally or emotionally, want to carry with us any longer? Here's a couple of options that may help.

Option #1

Write down what's been weighing you down. Be specific! The more specific and detailed you are in what's bothering you, the more you will be releasing from your mind and onto that piece of paper. 

Take that paper and get rid of it forever by either shredding it into tiny pieces, or throwing it into a fireplace or fire pit. Just get rid of it...make it completely disappear. You no longer want any evidence of what you've been holding onto.

Option #2

Pray and/or meditate. Ask to have all your negative thoughts and energy to be taken from you. You have no need for it, and want to create space for positive thoughts and energy to come to you. Create mantras that can help you each day, and practice this in the morning, afternoon, and at night. Once you have formed a habit of releasing what you don't want, it will become easier and easier for you to attract what you do want. 

Having a clear mind will enable you to create positive, wonderful, and amazing things into your life. 

A Life Coach can help.

Setting S.M.A.R.T. Goals

S.M.A.R.T. Goals
 

What exactly are S.M.A.R.T. goals?

Specific - What do I want to achieve? Why do I want to achieve it? When do I want to achieve it by? Where will I be, and who will I become after achieving it?

Measurable - How can I track my goal? Who will be my accountable partner? How will I know I'm getting closer to my goal? How will I know when I've achieved it?

Achievable - Do I have the resources and skills to achieve what I want? Ex: In order to receive my Master's Degree, I will want to have my Bachelor's Degree completed first. 

Realistic - Will the results be relevant to what I wanted to achieve? Did I set my goal too high or not high enough?

Timely - Is my goal achievable with the deadline I gave myself? Does my schedule or financial state allow me to pursue my goal by the date I want to achieve it?

A Life Coach can help.

Goodbye 2015!!!!

As 2015 comes to an end, ask yourself these questions....

How many of my goals have I achieved?

In what ways did I take care of my health?

Who were the supportive people in my life, and why?

What accomplishments am I most proud of?

What acts of kindness have I practiced?

Which people have inspired me?

How many things can I check off from my bucket list?

When was I fearless?

How will I make 2016 a year to remember?

A Life Coach can help....

Couple's Coaching - Reconnecting Relationships

COUPLE'S COACHING RECONNECTS 

When there is a disconnect in a relationship, shutting down emotionally, mentally, and physically begins to happen. Drifting further and further apart, couples eventually call it quits and go their separate ways. Even worse, most couple's stay and remain miserable.

Before calling it quits, ask yourself these questions.

Do I want to work it out?

Have I been clearly communicating my wants and needs to my partner?

Have I been fully hearing and listening to my partner's wants and needs?

What part of my relationship's disconnect was in my control?

What part of my relationship's disconnect was out of my control?

Can I honestly say I've been giving this relationship my all?

If separation/divorce is the answer, what will my life look like without my partner in it?

Do I have the courage to begin the process of separation/divorce?

Do I have the courage to begin the process of seeking couple's coaching?

What is the end result I'm looking for?

Couple's coaching can prevent separation and divorce from happening, as well as preventing you from staying in an unhappy relationship for the rest of your life. If you feel as if you've tried everything in your power to make your relationship work, couple's coaching can be the last step towards making your final decision. Having a certified, trained, experienced professional coach to step in can be the answer you've both been looking for.

A Life & Relationship Coach can help.

Imagine an endless road full of successful women, and each woman has a gift they can give you. These gifts contain words of encouragement, love and compassion that will heal any open wound, and tools and techniques you can use to conquer anything that's blocking your way. 

Now, imagine another endless road full of women, and each woman has their story, heavy baggage, pain, jealousy, and promises of never having your back when you need her. These women would love nothing more than to see you fail. They don't want to hear your dreams, see you happy, or have you move on from a painful experience. These women are still stuck in their own pain. 

Unfortunately, both types of women really do exist. Fortunately, we have a choice as to which group of women we want to be like and surround ourselves with. What kind of woman are you? What kind of women do you choose to surround yourself with? Imagine being one of the successful woman who can support another woman in need...what tools can you give her? What words of encouragement can you give her, if she questions her capabilities?

There's nothing more empowering than to have other successful women listen and encourage you to follow your dreams, point out all your strengths, and give you tools you can use throughout your journey. 

Choose to be one of the many successful women, supporting other women.  

A Life Coach can help.

CHOICES

We all have choices...in fact, we make choices every single day, as soon as our eyes open. Each morning, we choose what outfit we're going to wear, what we're going to have for breakfast, how we're going to do our hair, etc. These are simple choices we get to choose, each morning, that can set the tone for our day.

Now, imagine, on a bigger scale, if you took advantage of all the other choices you have in your life. How much fun will that be? What will your life look like, if you chose everything and anything that  will make you happy?

Choices are precious gifts we're fortunate to have. Our intuition, which is also a precious gift, guides us, when picking the right choices to lead us in the direction to our happiness. It's just a matter of listening to your gut, getting clear on what you want, and trusting you're making the right choices for yourself. There's NEVER a need to ask anyone to make choices for you. When you do this, you're putting your destiny into someone else's hands...and we all know how that's going to work out...it's not!

www.donnaleakeclc.com

Educational Lessons From Our Life Experiences

Some of you, in fact, most of you don't know that for a couple of years, I had my very own dog treat business. It was called, "Puppy Personal". I baked all natural, personalized dog treats in any shape, size, and flavor.

I used to refer to it as a "side business".  Yet, looking back today, that "side business" ended up being an educational lesson that prepared me for bigger and greater things I have going on with my career today. That "side business" taught me how to sell, research and market a product, work at public events, create a website, use my creativity, meet other entrepreneurs and cheer one another on, learn NOT to take "I'm not interested" personally, and build more and more confidence along the way.

There I was, years ago, baking away for my business!

If I had listened to all the people who; thought I was crazy to start up a dog treat company out of my home, thought I was going about it all the wrong way and wouldn't make a profit, thought I was wasting my time and energy, or gave me every bit of advice as to how THEY would do it...than I wouldn't have had what I need today to keep my Life & Relationship Coaching business moving forward in the right direction.


What ideas have you been carrying around with you, not knowing how to make them a reality?

What will motivate you to take your first step forward?

What thoughts, or comments, from others have been holding you back?

How will you know when you are ready to begin?



A Life Coach can help.

 Finding Your Passion

Most of us shrug our shoulders when we're asked what we're passionate about. This is not a "trick" question, yet it's difficult for most of us to answer? 

What are we drawn to? What makes our head turn and look twice? What are we watching that keeps us from changing the channel on our t.v.? When we're in a book store, what section do we walk towards? The answers to these questions are all clues to what we're passionate about...and it doesn't have to be just "one" thing, it can be many things!

Once we know what we are passionate about, we can dive deeper and enjoy more of what we love....orrrrrrr.... perhaps, even make a career out of it. (Wink!)

A life coach can help. 

So what...I'm Not Perfect!!!!

About a month ago, I hit send on my monthly newsletter, which gets distributed to hundreds of women. I always send myself a copy, so I can pop it up and see what it looks like to everyone who's viewing it. So, out it goes, and my newsletter pops into my email.

As I begin reading it, with a smile on my face, my eyes pop out of my head. OH NO! My opening paragraph has NOTHING to do with the rest of my post! I had made a few changes while I was giving my finishing touches, and forgot to change the opening paragraph to reflect those changes. UGH!!!!!!!!

I immediately froze, and could literally feel my body burning up with embarrassment. Of course, you knows what comes next...all the negative thoughts, words, and feelings come to me.

"You see, you rushed your work, once again!"

"Everyone's going to read this and not know what the heck you're talking about!"

"Who's going to want to continue reading your monthly newsletters?"

The voices kept shouting..."Blah! Blah! Blah!"...Until I finally told myself to STOP! I was being mean to myself, bullying myself, and creating unnecessary anxiety, with all the nonsense I was telling myself.

I've learned, through the years, that all my mistakes, big or small, have always prepared me for bigger and better things in my future. If it weren't for our mistakes, how will we learn, grow, create, and better ourselves?

Next time you're beating yourself up for a mistake you have made, stop yourself, and use that energy to think of ways how you can improve it for the future.


A Life Coach can help you.

Nursery School, Kindergarten, Middle School, High School...Suny New Paltz School of Business! WTF

High School Graduation Party, June 28, 2015

The years flew by, and before I knew it, he was applying for colleges, renting a tux for his senior prom, and ordering his cap and gown for graduation. Wow, my little boy is now in his first semester at SUNY New Paltz...accepted into their Business School, no less! His hard work and dedication gave him this opportunity, and I'm so excited to see what the future holds for him.

This is one of my favorite pictures from his graduation party. Ray would say, "Of course it is, mom, because you're in it! " LOL This time, that's not the case. LOL It's my favorite, because of so many other reasons than that. To start, we are laughing! Laughter sums up our whole relationship. When I look back at all the years raising this little guy, all I can remember is laughing with him. Honestly, we found humor in everything. I have a smile on my face, just thinking of all the things we've laughed about...and still laugh at today. 

I also love this picture, because it's so candid. Raising him as a single mother, our days were not planned. We didn't stress about how perfect our day or weekend was going to be...we just got up and went, had fun, and enjoyed all the things the day brought us. Those were moments I would do all over again, and never change a thing! We were creative and never bored. 

One more thing I'll mention about this photo, which brings tears to my eyes, is to be able to physically see how close we've stayed with one another. Just look at how he still reaches out to put his arm around me. May not seem that big of a deal to others, but we all know some teenagers who don't even want to pose for a picture standing next to their parent. I will never take any sign of affection from him for granted. Whether it's a hug, a kiss, a text, or a phone call from him, I consider them all precious gifts and will take whatever he gives me!!!! :) 

So, he's now at college, and my heart is filled with even more love and wishes for an even brighter future for him. My husband and I have this whole house to ourselves. We are enjoying our time alone together, but it's quiet with out Ray around every day. Actually, I'm more quiet without Ray around every day. LOL I didn't realize how many times I called his name; asking him if he wanted breakfast, telling him I'm running out for a bit, knocking on his door to ask if I can come in, or shouting out when it's dinner time. LOL Yep, it's an adjustment with my little boy being away in college, but the text, phone calls, emails, hugs and kisses from him will be even sweeter to receive!!!! Life is good!

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

We all have a comfort zone. A place where we are familiar, surrounded by a sense of security. Our comfort zone can help us stay true to who we are...staying balanced and centered...allowing us to live within our means. Sounds like a nice place to stay, doesn't it? For some, yes, but for the rest of us who want more out of life, we will have to take a step out into the uncomfortable every once in a while.

Think of a moment in your life when you stayed in your comfort zone, instead of taking a chance. What kept you in your comfort zone? Was it motivation, fear, lack of experience, or finances?

What if you did take that chance? What would your life look like today? Where would you be? Describe what you would be feeling? Who would be with you?

It's important to understand that each time we leave our comfort zone, we realize that what's on the other side isn't as scary as we thought!