Sending Your Child Off To College

It's that time in a senior's life where they're waiting to hear from all the colleges they've applied for. This is a very exciting and anxious time for both the teenagers and the parents. For the teenagers, they've waited a long time for all their hard work to pay off, in order to be accepted into a school of their dream...and for the parents, this is a huge milestone and you couldn't be more proud for your child! So, why are you both feeling anxious, scared, angry, happy, and ecstatic all at the same time?

Ask yourself some questions...

What emotions arise when I think of the day my child goes off to college?

Have I expressed my thoughts and concerns with my child about their safety around campus?

Have I asked, and fully listened, to any thoughts, concerns, or questions my child has about being on their own, away from home?

What "one" thing can I do to allow this experience to be a happy and exciting for both myself and my child?

What do I need to hear from my child, to reassure myself I have given him/her all the tools and resources they need when they are away at college?

The first step in organizing your emotions, is clearing away the unresolved thoughts and concerns that are haunting you. As you check off the things that are no longer a concern to you, you can focus on any last loving advice or support you may want to share with your child. This deeper communication, which is about the love and excitement you have for your child, will be the moment you both will want to remember before they are off and on their own.

This is a time to be excited, happy, and proud of all that we've done to be able to send our children off to college. This is also a time to create new relationships with them that will only grow stronger as the years go by.

Thank You Card To Yourself

Have you ever spent over 1/2 hour trying to find the perfect card for that special someone in your life? I have!

Why do I do it, because I want the card I've chosen to say exactly what my heart is feeling about that person. I want my special someone to know what they mean to me, and how they've added joy, peace, and love into my life. My expectations after they read the card is for them to feel appreciated, valued, needed, wanted, and loved...all at the same time.

Americans send out an average of 6.5 billion greeting cards a year! 6.5 BILLION!!!!!! Just think of all the time and money spent on telling others how special they are. CRAZY, right?

Now, imagine if you received one of those cards from yourself. What kind of card would you pick out? What other kind, inspirational, and loving words would you add to it? Take out a piece of paper, fold it in half and write Thank You on the front. Now open it and start writing a "thank you" to yourself. Write from your heart and let the thoughts flow.

When you're finished, close it up and put it away in a draw...Somewhere you know you'll remember where you put. The next time you're feeling down, take out that card and remind yourself of all the things you are, and that the moment of sadness you're in will soon pass.

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Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend

During Oprah's weekend, there was a speaker Rob Bell, who mentioned the importance of staying thankful and living in grace. We often question all the bad things that happen to us and carry around all the anger that WE ALLOW to come from it. Only we  are responsible for what we carry with us. Too many times we blame others for what they've done to us...instead of realizing that WE allowed them to do what they've done to us.

When we simply say, "In some strange way, I am thankful for this thing I tried so hard to avoid", we create a switch within and begin thinking of why we are thankful. When we start seeing the beauty that came from it...courage, self-worth, trusting ourselves, strengths, new relationships that were formed, etc...we will begin to release that anger and move forward to the next chapter of our lives.

Pretty cool stuff, right? There's so much I've gotten from this weekend and I'm more than happy to share it all with you!




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Shhhhhh! Listen To Yourself

Are you listening to all the signs your intuition is giving you? What are you feeling? What are you hearing?

Most women ignore the inner messages they're recieving. A pounding heart, sweaty palms, even stomach aches are pushed aside for many reasons, usually to benefit other people. A high percentage of women are people pleasers. People pleasers put others first, while they take the back seat. There's absolutley nothing wrong with wanting to make another person feel good, when you're feeling happy and excited doing so. However, when you can actually hear the voice in your head telling you, "I don't want to do this!" or "I don't want to stay here!".... why are you ignoring it and continue doing or living a life you don't really want?

The next time someone puts you in a position you are physically or emotionally uncomfortable with, ask yourself these questions...

1) What am I benefiting or gaining by doing this them?
2) How am I going to feel while I'm doing it?
3) How am I going to feel once it's over?
4) What thoughts and emotions immediately came to me, as I was asked to do this?

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!!!!!!!!!!!

Click and watch this video!


Can you imagine if she listened to everyone who told her she doesn't have what it takes? Where would she be today? What would her future have looked like?

http://youtu.be/ZY0cdXr_1MA

Are The Excuses You're Making Holding Yourself Back?

What is the difference between you and a friend you know who has wanted something so bad and went for it? Is it because she was in a better financial position than you to do so? Was it because she received help from others around her? Maybe she sacrificed a lot more than you were willing to sacrifice to get what she wanted? If the answers to all of these are true, than ask yourself this one question, "What was holding me back from getting what I wanted?"

Never meeting you before, I can tell you this....YOU were holding yourself back. Go back as far as you can and think of the many moments in your life when you really wanted something. What did you do if you didn't have the money at that moment to buy a car you wanted or the home you're living in today? I can bet you started saving your money, so you could get it! What about your younger years when you didn't have a license to get to a concert that you and your girlfriends really wanted to go to? I can bet you asked one of your parents to drive all of you there, so you didn't miss it! What sacrifices have you made in your life in order to be healthier, happier, and more financially secure? I can bet you've made healthier food choices when going out to dinner, you took time for yourself to enjoy things in life that made you happy, and went to work every day, maybe putting in a couple of extra hours every now and then, so you can live your every day life.

So, now what? You will want to stop creating any more excuses in your head, and begin creating "focus" and a "plan". Life happens and we loose focus on what we want, and we soon begin focusing on the needs of others around us. 

1) Make a list of all the things (excuses) that you believe are stopping you.
2) Cross each one out and write down what you can do to get around it.
3) Put a date you want to achieve each one by.
4) Celebrate each achievement.
5) Keep adding to your list as the old ones are achieved.


Take moments to meditate and listen to what you want for yourself. Find that excitement you had in the past for other things that you had wanted. That excitement will create a focus, and once you have a focus a plan will fall into place.

Saying "Yes"!!!!

I'm usually coaching my clients on how to say "no". There are so many reasons why saying "no" can make you a happier person.

This week I coached two of my clients on how to say "yes"! There are too many people who say "no" due to the fear of the unknown or change. When you know in your gut that you don't want to do something, the best thing you can do is say "no", but when there is fear behind that drive to say "no", you will want to begin saying "yes" and see how your life will change!

By saying "yes" to try new places you've never been before, to move forward with new ideas, and to take chances at a new opportunities, you are growing and experiencing what life has to offer.

Be mindful as to what the driving force behind your "yes" or "no" decisions are, and if it's your gut...GO WITH IT!....if it's fear....GO AROUND IT!

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Creating A Life You Want

Creating a life you want takes work. What resources are you using to get what you want? Books? Inspirational movies? Attending motivational workshops? Exercise?




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Group Coaching Allows You To Communicate Your Feelings In A Safe, Non Judgmental Environment

Family members, couples, and coworkers are welcome to start their own group. Learn techniques that will allow you to express your feelings and communicate. Contact for details.

http://www.donnaleakeclc.com/group-coaching.html

 

Group Coaching

www.donnaleakeclc.com

Exercise Your Way To Happiness

How do you release tension? What place do you go to center yourself?

For me, it's yoga, meditation, walking and cycling. I feel alive again, as I take in the views, sounds, smell, and feelings that are in front if me.

What is your body telling you that it's wanting right now?





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I've Learned To Communite With My Clients In Order To Build A Stronger Relationship With Them

Even as a Certified Professionally trained Coach, with a BS in Psychology, I learned how to communicate with my clients in order to create a stronger relationship with them.

The more I coach women, the more I'm realizing how the word "change" may not be the word most want to hear...especially for those who have been stagnant for so long. For whatever reason, it starts off as an empowering word that describes what they want to do in order to achieve what they want, and soon turns into a word that sends chills up their spine with fear.

Communicating by using different words and phrases always makes a positive shift. Saying things like, "What can you do that's in your control right now?" or "Which strength do you want to use this week to pull you through?" puts the power back into their hands...rather than thinking there's something wrong with who they are or where they are, and asking women to make a change.

When wanting to communicate with family, friends, a spouse, or coworkers choose words that are empowering! You can learn more by contacting me at donnaleakeclc@gmail.com

www.donnaleakeclc.com

Make Yourself A Priority!

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You Can Hear In Complete Silence

How comfortable are you with silence? Take a moment, find a space, and quiet your mind. You'll be amazed as to how much you can hear in complete silence.

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What Blocks Communication?

There are four things that can block communication between two people. By avoiding these four things, you will see how opportunities for positive change begin to happen.

1) Judging people because their morals or values are not the same as ours can cause a block. "How can I communicate with someone I don't agree with? So, I won't."

To open communication, you can say,"I don't necessarily agree with her, but I want to listen and then give my own views on the subject."

2) Comparing people who you feel to be better than you or beneath you. "She's the owner of the company. Who am I to tell her that she did the math wrong on the report? I'm not going to say anything."

To open communication, you can say, "you may want to re-check your calculations before sending the report out. I came up with different amounts."

3) Denial of our responsibility in how we are feeling and blaming others for how we are reacting. "You're always making me feel as if I'm a terrible person to be around."

To open communication, you can say, "Hearing you say that makes me feel sad, because I'm getting the feeling that you don't want to be around me as much." Wait for their response...I bet their not going to say you're a terrible person to be around.

4) Communicating our desires as demands. "I can't believe you're going to play golf again this Sunday!"

To open communication, you can say, "I'm disappointed that you made plans for golf this Sunday, because I was hoping we can go see a movie and grab dinner"

Building Your Dream Today!

If you become intimidated by your own dream and start to feel like it will take too much work to handle, ask yourself, "What is too much work for me?" Take a moment and answer this question.

Now, create a list of what you feel you can handle and what you feel you can't handle.

                        Can Handle                                                            Can't Handle


Then go back to your list of Can't Handles and right down what other options you have that will enable you to handle it. Now move that over to your Can Handle column. Quickly, you will realize how much you are able to handle, and be less intimidated to go after your dream!

Happiness At Work...Does That Even Exist?

Did you know that the happiness you can have at work every day is in your control?

Describe the most fun day you had at work. What made that day different than any other day? 



Like most of us, there are days where you just dread going to work. You don't mind doing the work that's waiting for you on your desk and your boss is actually a really cool manager. So, what is it? 



If you are working in an office, it's usually the daily routine that becomes boring. You arrive at work, put your belongings away, grab your empty cup and ask if anyone else wants to get coffee with you, you both drag your tired bodies over to the coffee maker, usually one person complains about their morning commute or the load of work they have waiting on their desk for them, and then you're back at your desk to start your day. Now, why would you be in a blah mood? lol



So, how can you change your morning up a bit and enjoy the day ahead of you? You can't always depend on others to bring some light into the office. You can put a smile on your own face, by creating your own happiness. How about stopping to grab a coffee before your commute to work. That always put me in a good mood. There's something about standing in line at a coffee shop with people alike, smelling the freshly brewed coffee, reading all the different types of tea on the board, and eyeing down the muffins behind the counter. If this doesn't entice you, why not ask another coworker to join the both of you on your way towards the coffee maker in the office. Pick someone who always makes you laugh, whether in meetings, company events, or in passing through the office. I'm sure they will have a funny story to tell you that will have you laughing all the way back to your desk.



I'm telling you, laughter works! When one person tells a funny story, it will have you thinking of a funny story to add to it. That's the type of energy you want to have in the office. It's not all fun and games, I get that, but telling funny stories, adding funny comments, making funny gestures, even funny sounds, you will see how contagious someones giggle can be. Before you know it, you're laughing while you're working. 

Who Will Support You?

I can honestly tell you that having a great support system from my family and friends has given me the love, laughter, and strength I needed to get to where I am today.

Choose your support system wisely. You want to be around people who have the strength to hold you high enough for you to reach your goals....not the weak ones that will drop you and watch you fall.

If There Were No Judgement, What Would You Be Doing?

I'm sitting here journaling and asked myself this question:

What would I do if I knew no one would judge me? 

I know what I would be doing, what would you be doing?  What, one, two, or three things would YOU do if you knew you were free of judgement, humiliation, and self doubt? How far would you take yourself? What will you bring? What will you be wearing? Who would you take with you? 

Take Nothing For Granted

Share Your Happiness!

Why keep your dreams/visions/plans/goals only to yourself? Share them with the people who support you! Be specific enough to give them the exact vision you have and watch the excitement on their face. Their happiness for you will be another motivator and reason for you to make it happen. 

 

When you have to worry about any of your girlfriends becoming upset, jealous or angry whenever you share your happiness with them, you may want to consider getting new girlfriends to share your time with...or you may want to save it and share it with your "friend". There's a difference between girlfriends and friends. When you want to go out for dinner or drinks, you will want to call a couple of your girlfriends. When you want to grab a cup of coffee, go for a walk, or go shopping with, you will want to call your "friend". A friend wants to hear every detail of your happiness. They want to be there to support you every step of the way. 

Know who your girlfriends are and know who your true "friends" are, and there will be no more confusion when you share your dreams and don't get the reaction you were expecting.

 

www.donnaleakeclc.com

For The Love of Your Children, COMMUNICATE!

For the love of your children, learn how to communicate with your ex. There's nothing more painful to a child than to witness the constant arguing that goes back and forth between their parents. Stop, take a breath, and chew your words. Any questions or concerns you want to discuss with you ex can be discussed when your child isn't around. When using your energy towards making your child feel loved during their pick up and drop offs, by giving them hugs and kisses and kind words towards their parent they are about to spend time with, you are making it a positive experience and showing how much you love them!

www.donnaleakeclc.com

Are You Being Bullied as an Adult, By an Adult?

Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and AGES! As adults we use other names to described them. We tolerate their behavior for many reasons; to keep the peace, need that promotion, fear of speaking up and loosing our job!

What coworker, manager, boss, etc is making it extremely difficult to do your work and give 100% of yourself on a daily basis? www.donnaleakeclc.com

Life and Relationship Coaching for Women

www.donnaleakeclc.com

Coaching on Life and Relationships for women who struggle in areas of Life, Relationships, and...

Know When to Let Go!

When you know something or someone in your life is unhealthy or unproductive, that you have grown beyond where they are and where they want to keep you, you must let go. If you tell yourself you do not see it when you do, or if you tell yourself it will get better, you are not being honest with yourself. Stop trying to fix things or change things. Simply let go.

Open That Door!

Since it's a fact that every door opens, stop using the word "stuck" as an excuse. You may have to pull, tug, or have others help you...eventually it will open.  What is holding you back from pushing that door open? Have you thought about how your life will look like in 5 years when you do walk through that door? Too many women regret not pursuing what they wanted in life. Are you one of those women? What step can you make today, that will move you towards what you always wanted?

www.donnaleakeclc.com

How Do You Handle a Girlfriend Who Dominates The Conversation

How do you handle a girlfriend who is always dominating the conversation? Most of us have been in this situation, and I can tell you from experience that it can be very annoying! It's almost as if there is no social awareness on their part that they're even doing it. You start to say something and you're immediately cut off or they try to finish your sentence. After a couple of tries, you usually just give up and allow them to continue, nodding your head every once in a while to make it look like they still have your attention. 

The truth is, people who dominate conversations, who like to be center of attention, who demand to be heard, are usually the ones who can't handle someone telling them to "take a breathe"! They are usually the ones who are appalled that you would have the audacity to interrupt them and "embarrass" them like that. They have no social awareness of what they were even doing to cause you to jump in and say something.

So, how do you handle a girlfriend who dominates the conversation? It's simple, politely excuse yourself and tell her you want to add something. As soon as she chimes in, immediately tell her that you're not finished with what you have to say. As soon as she attempts to chime in again, you repeat exactly what you just said to her, "I'm not finished with what I have to say." This may have to be repeated a couple of times throughout your time spent with her. Hopefully she will get the hint and learn to stop talking when you have something to input. As funny as this sounds, you are literally re-programming her to respond differently when others are speaking.

When all else fails and she is not responding well to your requests to speak or seems annoyed because she cannot sit quiet and listen, then the next time she asks you to spend time with her, turn down her invitation. Your time is valuable! Why share it with someone who doesn't care enough to hear what's new in your life, how your family is doing, or how your business is going? It's okay to say no. Often we are too quick to say yes when asked to do something with someone else. Think of how and who you want to spend your time with. Spend it with people who add value and are excited to hear about what's going on in your life.


 

Stepping Stones

Each step you take towards a goal, is a step closer to your goal. We often become flustered when we think of the amount of steps it will take to get us where we want to be. When we take one step at a time, the pressure lessens and the journey towards our goal becomes more enjoyable.

How can you create a more enjoyable experience as you reach for your goals?

Dating Tips

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Enjoy TODAY!

Stop Bullying Yourself!

Why are there times when it's difficult to have a positive attitude? The little negative things that you tell yourself never seem to go away, they actually tend to pile up onto one another, and BOOM...there you are in a full blown bad mood!

Read what I wrote again, "The little negative things that you tell yourself....". We are, at times, our own worst enemy and we don't even realize it because it's become an every day habit of insulting ourselves. It's become part of who we are...a bully! I bully myself every time I look in the mirror, "Look at your makeup? What were you thinking when you applied that eyeliner this morning?" or when I'm at the supermarket, "Do you even know how to cook Kale? That's right, put it back down.", "Look at you, you know you've gained weight, so why are you staring at those Oreo cookies? Keep moving along!", and I even bully myself in mixed company, "What did you just say? Oh Donna, you didn't just say that? Look at them looking at you, they have no idea what you're even talking about? Just let them talk and be funny, you're embarrassing yourself again.".

These negative thoughts that run through my mind have been implanted there, against my will, many years ago. I've either heard it being said to someone else, absorbed the information from watching television or reading a magazine, or it's something that someone has said directly to me. Either way, it's not working for me anymore. I'm learning to create new healthy habits. Habits of telling myself that I am pretty, I am healthy and in good shape, and I am both interesting and funny. As soon as those negative thoughts come to me, I take a breathe and continue on with what I was doing. Almost as if I'm ignoring an ignorant comment from another person. I'm reprogramming my mind to think in the positive. Eventually I won't have to stop to take a breathe, I will be flowing through my every days loving myself for who I fully am.

What Do I Write In My Journal

I give a journal out to every client that begins their coaching sessions with me.  Their eyes light up and say, "Thank you!".....and then ask,"What do I write in my journal?".

A journal is similar to the diary we've kept as little girls. We either wrote secrets in there that we wanted no one else knowing about or what happened at school that day.  A journal is a grown up version of that diary...and then some. I've spoken with women who keep "themed" journals. One woman has a journal that is strictly about her goals on working on their relationship with her brother. Her other journal was strictly about her love of travel, with stories of where she's been and dreams of where she wants to visit next.

I like to journal about everything and anything that intuitively comes to mind. If I'm thinking about creating a new workshop for my business, than I'll write about that. If I walked around a park earlier in the day and the colors of the flowers caught my attention, I will write about that too. Perhaps there's a workshop that intuitively I know I'll create in the future that will be active in springtime when flowers are in full bloom? It's pretty neat looking back and reading from my past journals and seeing how so many things have become reality for me.

So, don't think twice when your pen hits the paper in your journal. Write whatever comes to mind and enjoy your journey!!!!!

Having The Last Word

Why is it that most of us feel the need to have the last word?  Whether in a heated argument or participating in a conversation that ended in a debate, there seems to be an uncontrollable urge to shout out one last thing that usually comes with a sting.

We all want to be heard, especially when we are in defense mode.  So, when we get to a certain point where we feel we are  being backed up against a wall, we sometimes shout out words that we didn't give time to think twice before saying them.  This can leave us feeling embarrassed or ashamed afterwards.

The best thing to do when in this situation, is to take a step back and listen to what the other person is saying. This usually will wear them down once they feel that they've been heard, and there will be space for you to step in, have your say, and be heard also. This will also give you time to think of how you want to respond, instead of regretting it later.

This does take patience and practice, so don't be upset with yourself if you're unable to control the urge right away.

Change Your Beliefs....Change Your Perspectives

Why is it that two women can go through the same situation and one will look at it as the worst thing anyone could possibly have gone through, while the other will look at it as an experience that made her more compassionate, more loving, happier, wiser, and stronger?

It's all about believing what you went through. If you honestly believe it was the worst thing, how can you see all the good things that came out of it?

In order for you to grow and move past a situation, you will want to revisit what you went through and write down all the positives that came out of it. You will see that your list will be longer than you ever imagined. This will change your belief system, and than you will see yourself as a survivor and a warrior!

Pruning Your Friends In Order To Grow

In order for certain plants to blossom, you need to prune off some of the old branches that are interfering with it's growth.  Same holds true with friendships.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  We all have or had friends who were holding us back from being happy.  It is important to surround yourself with positive friends who support and believe in you.  You don't have to completely cut them off, just limit the amount of time you spend with them.  Remember, your time is valuable, so it's perfectly okay to pick and choose the type of friends you want to give your time to.  Watch how you will grow after you prune away the weight that has been dragging you down.

Fusion Academy Health Fair Event

Last night I met so many wonderful people who are all into health awareness! Thanks Fusion Academy!











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Healthy Start to My Morning

Strawberries, blueberries, and carrots!


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What We Focus On, We Attract

When starting a new relationship, it is common for most women to take all the hurt, pain, jealousy, or lack of trust with them into their next relationship.  Their experiences can help protect them from making the same mistakes over again, by being able to read the signs more clearly this time around.

Here's the thing...by focusing on all that can go wrong, you are actually attracting those things into your relationship, and that's not what you want to do.  Have faith that all you have ever wanted in a relationship is right in front of you, and keep your focus on the love that brought you together.  Don't keep punishing men for the man who had hurt you in your past.

What we focus on, we attract.  Focus on the love and happiness, and you will attract just that!

Turning Rain Into Sunshine

Have you ever had those mornings where you just want to curl yourself into a ball and hide from the world?  You may not even know why you're feeling this way!  Everything great is going for you and you're having no issues at work...you're just having a bad day.

Well, you're not alone!  It's our intuitive thoughts telling us that we need a little "attention", that's all.  Perhaps we are just bored, doing the same routine day after day, after day.  So, if you're getting ready for work and in a blah mood, try dressing up a little more than you normally do.  Put those earrings on that you only wear out on the weekends or put your makeup on differently.  Even taking a different route to work to change up the scenery can make a world of a difference with your ride to work.  Trust me!  This is coming from my experience! :)


These little tricks will turn any rainy day into sunshine.

Morning Yoga and Meditation

It's so important to love and take care of yourself, not only physically, but mentally also. Daily routines can take up so much space, so it's important to create time for you! Sometimes I'm filled with energy, and sometimes I need motivation? I create a silly little set up around my yoga mat that creates a mood for me to stay on that mat as long as I possibly can.

What motivates you to spends time alone with yourself? One of my clients said, "A cup of coffee!" She psychs herself up to walk every weekend, because she knows there's a coffee waiting for her at the coffee shop she walks to.

This is my technique...River rocks I collected from upstate while tubing, Chrystal's I bought while shopping in a village with my best friend, a candle holder from my sister that has a cute sister poem on it, and my Buddha head that made me smile at Home Goods.









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Do Coaches Accept Insurance?

Coaches are always being asked the question, "Do you accept insurance?"  The answer is no.  I cannot speak for other states, but as of today, there are no insurance companies that cover coaching in New York.  The reason being is that coaching is not State regulated.

When looking for coaching, you may stumble across some psychologists or therapists that advertise for coaching in their practice.  You may think, "Bingo! I found a Coach that takes insurance!"  Well, I'm going to have to stop you right there and tell you that therapy and coaching are not the same.  I'll repeat...therapy and coaching are NOT the same!

Unless that psychologist or therapist can show you their Certification from an Accredited School of the ICF, which proves that they are properly trained and qualified to call themselves a Coach, you will not be receiving any type of coaching from them.  So, please do your research and be 100% certain that the psychologist or therapist you are about to see is Certified as a Coach and will be coaching you and not giving you therapy.  

Since more and more people are aware of the amazing results people are getting from having a Coach, both psychologists and therapists now want to incorporate that into their practice.  Again, psychologists and therapists can indeed have a coaching practice...just do your research before running over to someone who says they will gladly cover your coaching with your insurance.  Like I said, coaching is not covered by an insurance.

Coaching is a mastered technique that deals with issues in real time and helps people move forward.  Coaches are highly trained professionals, who have spent thousands of dollars on their coaching education, and have a lifetime committment to be involved in other events and educational opportunities in order to keep up with their Certification.  All this, to assure that clients are in the right hands.  That is one way to justify what most Coaches charge.  We take pride in what we do and go above and beyond to stick to our high standards we have for our profession.  

Preparing For College....UGH!

This is it! The time has come for us to start taking our son around to visit some colleges.  I never thought I was going to be one of those moms that were so overwhelming, controlling, and annoying that their own child does everything in their power to avoid having contact with them...but I have! I keep questioning him as to what he wants to major in...and then I find myself asking him a couple more times if he's sure that's what he wants to major in.  I've been scheduling college tours to colleges that aren't even in his list to go see, I'm comparing each school to make sure he'll be attending a great college, and I'm even checking out other school where he may (or I may LOL) want to attend for grad school.

When was the last time you've sat down and researched the cost of tuition for college?  If you're around my age, that's somewhere around 25 years ago!!!! Yeah, I said it...25 years ago!  Well, tuition has gone quite a bit up since then, and they're not running any "sales" anytime soon.  The average yearly tuition for St. John's University is $36,450 a year...add on $13,000 for room and board....now multiply that by 4 years and that's a whopping $197,800!  I can't speak for anyone else's child, but I can tell you that my child does not have $197,800....or even a job at the moment.

So, what's a mother to do?  Do I spend countless hours planning out my sons future or do I take a step back and allow him to do the research, and come to me when he wants guidance?

As a mother, I can speak for most mothers when I say that intuitively we know when we need to back off and when we need to step up for our child.  I believe in my heart that my son is going to succeed in everything he does in life.  He's an "A" student, has always been on the honor roll, did very well on his SAT exam, and he has an idea as to what major he may want to get into when he starts applying for colleges.  So why am I so obsessed in his search for colleges?

As a coach it is easy for me to see that this has something to do with me and not our son.  Although I did go to college after high school, I didn't choose a career that I loved.  Most of us didn't.  I also chose a local college, which didn't give me the opportunity to live on my own and experience campus life.  Later in life when I chose to change my degree so I can have the career that I've always wanted, I had a lot of things to take into consideration, as an adult, before I made the financial decision to go back.  With all this being said, I want our son to experience all the fun college life has to offer, make memories and friends to last a lifetime, and to be so happy with his career choice!!!!!  In other words, not make the mistakes I made.

Ugh, that's a lot of pressure I'm putting on myself...and I'm sure I'm not the only mother doing it.  The thing is, we all had to make choices in life and some may not have been the best! lol I can sit here all day and think of 1,000 ways we could have done things differently...but it's a total waste of time and energy, because those choices that I made years ago, whether poor or not, lead me to where and who I am today...and I'm totally happy with my life!!!!  My son's life is HIS life and not mine.  I need to trust that he will pick a college that right for him, make smart choices with who he associates with in college, and will know what career path will make him want to get up for work every day to make a difference.

Preparing and sending our children off to college doesn't have to be chaotic.  We want to enjoy this experience together with them and yes, it is possible.  Every time you find yourself getting a little crazy like I was, stop and breathe, recognize why you're feeling the way you are and switch it around to make it about your child and not you.

Can't Wait Till Spring!

Just saw this photo on Instagram and now I can't wait to ride my bike again!

What do you do for exercise and to quiet your mind?


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Message From My Morning Tea

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone