Stop Bullying Yourself!

Why are there times when it's difficult to have a positive attitude? The little negative things that you tell yourself never seem to go away, they actually tend to pile up onto one another, and BOOM...there you are in a full blown bad mood!

Read what I wrote again, "The little negative things that you tell yourself....". We are, at times, our own worst enemy and we don't even realize it because it's become an every day habit of insulting ourselves. It's become part of who we are...a bully! I bully myself every time I look in the mirror, "Look at your makeup? What were you thinking when you applied that eyeliner this morning?" or when I'm at the supermarket, "Do you even know how to cook Kale? That's right, put it back down.", "Look at you, you know you've gained weight, so why are you staring at those Oreo cookies? Keep moving along!", and I even bully myself in mixed company, "What did you just say? Oh Donna, you didn't just say that? Look at them looking at you, they have no idea what you're even talking about? Just let them talk and be funny, you're embarrassing yourself again.".

These negative thoughts that run through my mind have been implanted there, against my will, many years ago. I've either heard it being said to someone else, absorbed the information from watching television or reading a magazine, or it's something that someone has said directly to me. Either way, it's not working for me anymore. I'm learning to create new healthy habits. Habits of telling myself that I am pretty, I am healthy and in good shape, and I am both interesting and funny. As soon as those negative thoughts come to me, I take a breathe and continue on with what I was doing. Almost as if I'm ignoring an ignorant comment from another person. I'm reprogramming my mind to think in the positive. Eventually I won't have to stop to take a breathe, I will be flowing through my every days loving myself for who I fully am.

What Do I Write In My Journal

I give a journal out to every client that begins their coaching sessions with me.  Their eyes light up and say, "Thank you!".....and then ask,"What do I write in my journal?".

A journal is similar to the diary we've kept as little girls. We either wrote secrets in there that we wanted no one else knowing about or what happened at school that day.  A journal is a grown up version of that diary...and then some. I've spoken with women who keep "themed" journals. One woman has a journal that is strictly about her goals on working on their relationship with her brother. Her other journal was strictly about her love of travel, with stories of where she's been and dreams of where she wants to visit next.

I like to journal about everything and anything that intuitively comes to mind. If I'm thinking about creating a new workshop for my business, than I'll write about that. If I walked around a park earlier in the day and the colors of the flowers caught my attention, I will write about that too. Perhaps there's a workshop that intuitively I know I'll create in the future that will be active in springtime when flowers are in full bloom? It's pretty neat looking back and reading from my past journals and seeing how so many things have become reality for me.

So, don't think twice when your pen hits the paper in your journal. Write whatever comes to mind and enjoy your journey!!!!!

Having The Last Word

Why is it that most of us feel the need to have the last word?  Whether in a heated argument or participating in a conversation that ended in a debate, there seems to be an uncontrollable urge to shout out one last thing that usually comes with a sting.

We all want to be heard, especially when we are in defense mode.  So, when we get to a certain point where we feel we are  being backed up against a wall, we sometimes shout out words that we didn't give time to think twice before saying them.  This can leave us feeling embarrassed or ashamed afterwards.

The best thing to do when in this situation, is to take a step back and listen to what the other person is saying. This usually will wear them down once they feel that they've been heard, and there will be space for you to step in, have your say, and be heard also. This will also give you time to think of how you want to respond, instead of regretting it later.

This does take patience and practice, so don't be upset with yourself if you're unable to control the urge right away.